The Importance of Mental Health & How to Get Help 💌

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If I'm honest, I'm writing this because I've been feeling pretty awful recently hence the one-month hiatus whoops.
But rather than wallow in a pit of my own despair (which I'm doing quite successfully, might I add), I thought I'd distract myself and do some good, so here's just some advice and stuff about how to cope with poor mental health. Enjoy.
In recent years, the stigma associated with mental health has been lifted somewhat, and it seems that everyone is waging their own wars in terms of emotional wellbeing.

 I know that it can be hard to know where to find support, so hopefully this post will enable some of my readers to be brave enough to know when, and how, to ask for help.

 (Obviously I'm not professionally qualified to provide guidance about these things, but I'm trying my best! I'll be linking to useful websites and contacts throughout this article)

Why is mental health so important?

If you don't feel good, you'll never be good. Mental health is the root cause of so many problems: it can affect your physical health, relationships with family and friends, and, often, your motivation to do anything.

 Your mental health can be the result of many factors combined, including personal circumstances: gender, sexuality, race and your own situation all have the potential to lead to poor mental health, especially if you're, for example, an British-Indian lesbian who finds it difficult to come to terms with who she is and where she belongs.

 Mental health disorders can be genetic, too, so if your family has a history of mental health problems, it would be wise to look into that if you aren't feeling like 'yourself' - whatever that 'self' might be.

Positive mental health allows you to realise your full potential, cope well with the stresses of life, and be motivated, productive, and most importantly, happy - this, for me, is the ultimate life goal: unrivalled, uncensored happiness.

My experience with poor mental health

Since year 8, anxiety and self-esteem have been a bit of a problem for me. I've often had panic attacks in class, which has inevitably led to insecurity, and if I ever have to do a presentation in class I become unnecessarily nervous because of previous bad experiences of being forced to speak in front of my peers.
In year 9, symptoms of depression crept in, and this was probably my worst year for mental health, as I had no one I could talk to, so I bottled everything up in an attempt to cope with it (spoiler: this was a bad idea).

In years 10 and 11, the added stress of GCSEs, coupled with the fear of failure and the grey inevitability of the future, threw my anxiety levels sky-high - would I get the grades? Would I get into sixth form? What if I didn't? I didn't have many options, and a darkness came over me a few months before exams, which meant that I couldn't really concentrate on anything for a while. This meant that I had to start revision in April, when exams started in May. It was a push, but somehow I managed to exceed all of my target and predicted grades - I'm telling you this so that if any of you, my readers, feel like your mental health is affecting you studies, just know that you can pull through. It's entirely possible to do well, despite feeling like you're in a dark cloud.



Plus, in Year 11, I was finally referred to a counselling service - even though it wasn't me who referred myself, it was one of my teachers, who noticed that something was wrong.
Finally being able to talk to someone was a relief, and I'd recommend therapy to everyone if I could - it's like all of your burdens being lifted from your shoulders, and my therapist helped me deal with each problem or worry in a sensible, practical way. I still see her bi-weekly.

I really wish I'd just asked for help in Year 8, though, instead of waiting 3 years for someone else to see what was wrong. I honestly believe that I would be in a much better, more stable place if I'd talked about my problems when they'd started, before they escalated into, well, this.

 The thing about mental health is that it's invisible - it's all in my head. I could be laughing and messing around with my friends, or performing at a music event, and no one would know that anything was wrong.
Sometimes I'm glad that my emotions are invisible, as it can be overwhelming to have your friends or peers interrogate you to try and find out 'what's wrong', even when they mean well. But, it also hurts when everyone is having fun, and you can't join in because you just don't feel like it.

To quote dodie, I'm not bitter, I'm just tired/ no use getting angry at the way that you're wired.


How I cope with my symptoms:

 Healthy eating 🍉

Practice meditation & mindfulness 🙏

 Regular exercise ⚽️ (for me, tennis and football)

 Music 🎸 (upbeat music/classical/lo-fi study music)

 I know these probably sound like really mundane things to do, but they take my mind off of things, and when I feel good about my body, it stimulates positive thoughts!

 I'm currently trying to take up yoga, for its many benefits to both mental and physical health. Take a look at this website for yoga poses for anxiety.

How do you know if you're suffering from a mental health issue?

Some common symptoms include:
  • Low mood
  • Low energy levels
  • Anxiety - especially in day-to-day situations that shouldn't provoke anxiety, such as going out with friends
  • Extreme emotions/mood swings
  • Excessive stress
  • Panic attacks or fainting - from stress or anxiety
  • Overeating (to feel better) or not eating enough
  • Becoming dependent on alcohol
  • Problems with sleeping, like insomnia, or struggling to sleep or wake up in the morning

More physical symptoms can include:
  • Elevated or decreased heart rate or palpitations
  • Sweating excessively when anxious
  • Feeling dizzy/fainting
  • Hallucinations

Self-harm Help

Self-harm is when someone purposely inflicts pain upon themselves, whether in the form of physically cutting themselves or not eating properly, or emotionally causing conflict with themselves and having negative thoughts.

 Reasons for people to self-harm include:
  • expressing suicidal feelings
  • change emotional pain into physical pain
  • stop feeling numb, disconnected or dissociated
  • feel like they are in control


 Contacts:



Eating Disorders Help

An eating disorder is when you have an unhealthy relationship with food, whether that involves eating too much or too little, or becoming obsessed with your body shape and/or weight.

 Most common eating disorders:

  • Anorexia - trying to keep your weight as low as possible; often due to distorted perception of body shape/weight
  • Bulimia - losing control; e.g. by eating a lot of food very quickly (bingeing), and then making yourself physically sick
  • Binge eating disorder - when you regularly lose control of your eating, and eat large portions of food, leading to regret and guilt

Contacts:


Sleep disorders Help

Good sleep is just as important as exercise and a healthy diet: it can improve concentration, productivity, mood, immune function, and so much more.

 Sleep disorders come in different forms, whether it's struggling to sleep, finding it difficult to wake up and feel refreshed in the morning, or having nightmares. Most people who have sleep-related problems don't actually seek help - this can be extremely damaging, so if you feel tired, stressed or depressed and you think it's due to sleep, contact your GP for advice.

Contacts:



Anxiety Help

Anxiety is a normal part of life - whether you're nervous about a new school, new job, an audition, or exams. But if you find yourself being constantly anxious, with no real reason to feel worried, it can affect your day-to-day life.

One thing I do to cope with social anxiety, is to realise that literally nobody cares. Everyone is living in their own little bubble with their own thoughts, and people won't care if your handshake is a little too firm or that your hair is a bit messy or that your voice went funny when you were introducing yourself to someone.

Once you get to the point where you realise that that 'really awkward' thing you did wasn't actually that bad, and that no one probably noticed (or cares), it can help to stop those spiralling, intrusive thoughts.
Contacts:


Depression/low mood Help

Low mood is a lot more common than people think, but what's the difference between sadness and depression?

Sadness is painful, but it can be helped pretty easily, e.g. by distracting yourself with a good movie or a night out. Sadness can be caused by relationships, death of a friend or relative, or arguing with someone we care about.

Depression, however, doesn't always need a reason - some days, you can wake up feeling blue, and there's nothing you can do about it. A film won't help, food won't help, you just have to wait for it to pass, which could take hours or weeks. Depression is unpredictable, and it feels like a hole. You can't  do anything to get out of the hole; you're powerless.


Contacts:

Stress Help

Stress can be the result of school, work, or even the people around you - firstly, find the cause of what's stressing you: if it's school, talk to a teacher about what's stressing you out - is it the homework? The course content? Your classmates?

 I know that school stress has been a prominent theme in the past year for me, and I tend to overwork myself, because I've always been an overachiever. What I've learnt is that taking time away from your studies will actually help you be more productive and focused when you study - take regular breaks, eat an apple, and go for a walk! Studying all the time will lead to burnout, which is harmful for your body and mind.


Contacts:

Addiction Help

Any sort of addiction is unhealthy, whether to food, alcohol, smoking or gambling.

There are support groups and rehabilitation facilities for addiction and substance-abuse all over the UK; 54% of those who reported resolving an AOD problem used some kind of assistance, such as self-help groups & counselling.

Contacts:



Suicide Prevention

Contacts:

General services for talking to someone

Samaritans - https://www.samaritans.org
You can contact the Samaritans in a variety of ways: on the phone, in person, via email, and by letter

 Kooth - https://www.kooth.com
A messaging service, with articles and forums to talk to others in a similar situation and find helpful advice

 childline - https://www.childline.org.uk
For anyone under 19 who needs someone to talk to, including emergency help - you can call, or chat online

 CALM, Campaign Against Living Miserably - https://www.thecalmzone.net
For men aged 15-35

 SANE - https://www.sane.org.uk

 Young Minds - https://www.youngminds.org.uk
Information on child and adolescent mental health

 Spark; igniting the conversation about mental health - https://www.sparksupport.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrpSrldm05AIVRLDtCh2qhwN6EAAYASAAEgIeqPD_BwE

So many schools and workplaces offer free counselling; you can always talk to someone, whether its a co-worker, teacher, a friend you trust or your boss.

Mental illness is not unusual, and you are definitely not alone.

1 in 4 adults experiences mental illness every year, and 1 in 17 lives with a serious illness.

Many celebrities have opened up about their own mental illnesses, in an attempt to show people that is it completely normal to have problems and to struggle to cope sometimes.
Demi Lovato has bipolar disorder; Dan Howell has opened up about how depression affects him; Nadiya Hussain talks publicly about her anxiety; Carrie Fisher suffered from manic depression, as does Stephen Fry; Amanda Seyfried takes Lexapro; Billie Eilish has Tourette's Syndrome; Cara Delevigne was suicidal, much like Nicki Minaj and J.K. Rowling.

I guess the moral of this article is that, no matter who you are, mental health can affect you, your family, your friends, anyone - but know that help is never far away.

You don't always have to want to live - you just need to be curious enough to want to know what happens next...

~~~

This blog post has taken me a while, but hopefully you found it useful!

I want my blog to be a supportive place, where people feel like they can open up about their problems without fear of judgement - being mentally ill is nothing to be ashamed of. If you need advice or have any questions on something I haven't covered, leave a comment below! I'll try my best to respond to everyone.

💙

- R

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